Really? Seriously Though.

The only thing that stays the same...is that Everything Changes.

2009-07-22T15:40:00.000-07:00

Once again it's time for a sappy sentimental blog post.

So I'm sitting here watching my baby play with her dog, and it suddenly occurs to me that she isn't a baby anymore. She is three. Three whole years have passed since the day she was born.

More than three years actually, but I'm generalizing here.

Looking back on that night she was born, I would have never thought I would be where I am now. I've lost a lot the last few years, and I've gained about as much. I learned a lot about who I am, and how strong a person I can be when I need to be.

There was a time not too long ago that I didn't think I was going to be ok. I didn't think I could get through. I had lost the people that I had come to feel were my foundation. Not that anything was entirely anyone's fault, I had my hand in everything, as did they...but I was truly lost. I didn't know how to move forward.

Now that I'm past that, now that I've found what my true foundation is, now that I have really found my path, and am living a life that is solid, stable, happy and peaceful... I look back and wonder how I could have changed it all to have kept that life, and still have found the life I have now.

I shouldn't, but I miss that portion of my life that I have left behind now. I drive past certain people on the road and wonder what their lives are like now that I am not a part of it. I know that it is all in the past and I have to move on and let it all go...but part of me believes that you don't form those kind of connections to people for no reason. I don't know now, maybe I will never know what the reason was...but I guess it helps me to think that there was a reason to it all.

I may have been the only one who walked away in pain, but I can't hold on to the pain anymore.

So here's to everything changing. For the better (and sometimes worse...but thats just the way it goes). Here's to moving on, and moving forward. Forgiving and being forgiven.

As good as it gets.

2009-03-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

Not often in life can you sit back and say "This is good, it just doesn't get any better".

All of the important bases are covered. For the first time in my entire life, I feel like everything that I need, is right here within arms reach.

I have love, security, stability and comfort. I'm lucky enough to have found a person that I love, and who loves me with the same intensity in return. I have healthy beautiful children, a house that I love and finally a job that I'm happy to go to every morning.

Life is good.

I am the worst blogger

2009-03-02T18:04:00.001-08:00

Once again, I'm here apologizing because I'm a bad, bad blogger.

It's been lil over a month since I last posted...and well...not a whole lot has happened.

Good news this week though...

You know that thing I've been waiting for the last four months for? IT HAPPENS ON FRIDAY!

That's right folks, the wait is finally almost over.

Bree comes home on Friday!!

What I wouldn't give...

2009-01-23T08:59:00.000-08:00

for a bottomless cup of coffee right now.

I didn't sleep, AT ALL last night. I'm so tired that my eyes feel like I rubbed sand in them.

I could sit right here, in my bed and stare into nothing with a big cup of coffee, and be totally content.

*sigh*

Thought of the Day Thursday

2009-01-15T07:53:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've made a "Thought of the Day" post....so here goes.

My thought for today...why is it that grown-ass women act like fools when they are lumped together in a room/message board? I mean REALLY? Seriously though.

One woman says something, another woman jumps on her. Another woman defends the first one... one defends the second...and before you know it you have a bitch-fight...and not the good kind with jello.

I just don't understand why women feel so inclined to tear each other apart the way that we do. What happened to the feeling of sisterhood and solidarity?

I swear its like Junior Freakin Highschool.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-01-14T10:03:00.001-08:00

53 more days...

2009-01-13T18:03:00.000-08:00

For those of you who know me well enough to know what I'm counting down to...

We are at 53 more days.

53 more days until the world makes sense again.

Eight Years ago today...

2009-01-11T09:32:00.000-08:00

I gave birth.

Happy Birthday Lilybug!

After 77 and a half hours of intense mind-bending pain my first baby was born.

WOW.

Doesn't seem like it was that long ago...but a whole other lifetime all the same. So much has changed in these short 8 years...

Anyways. Happy Birthday to my baby.

2008: My year in review

2009-01-04T16:19:00.000-08:00

2008 is over. It's been over for a few days now, but I haven't had time til just now, to officially blog in the new year.

2008 was a long, painful and difficult year, and though a couple of awesome things did happen... I am not sorry to say goodbye to it.

I gained some friends, and lost a friend... I lost a family, but gained one too. I broke someones heart, but then found the person who had been waiting all along for mine.

I fell in love and got engaged... I started planning for our future which is something that I don't tend to do. I'm not so good at planning, I'm really more of a "take things as they come" kind of person. It generally leads to disapointment to plan things out in too great of detail.

I've learned alot about myself, and what I am capable of enduring.

I'm happy with the live I've been given, and I'm looking forward to what 2009 has to offer.

Manic Monday

2008-12-29T11:57:00.000-08:00

Only it's not so Manic...cause I got nothin to do.

I'm off work, the kids are both home, the baby's passed out on the couch...Lily's passed out in her closet (that's what happens when she cleans, she falls asleep).

I know I've neglected blogging lately...but things have been busy and crazy and hectic with the holidays and all.

Thankfully Christmas is over...in a few days it will be a brand new year.

I'm so ready for that.

Twas the Sunday before Christmas...

2008-12-21T09:35:00.000-08:00

So here we are folks, it is the weekend before Christmas...I should be at work. I'm not though. I'm sitting in my bed nursing a cracked rib and a swollen face. Great.

So because I'm oh-so-coordinated, I ended up with a cracked rib (ouch) and then because I'm karma-challenged I woke up this morning with the whole side of my face swollen, mostly my eye. Great, just freakin great.

Apparently its some kind of reaction to the meds for my rib. Fan-freakin-tastic.

Have I mentioned BAH HUMBUG! lately?

Awesome Possum Designs

2008-12-19T07:53:00.000-08:00

Well I've finally done it.

I actually completed my website (for the most part) and it is up and operational.

www.awesomepossumdesigns.weebly.com

Check it out and let me know what you think!

Request a free graphic, or order something! (No pressure...LOL)

Bah Humbug

2008-12-17T22:07:00.000-08:00

Is it January yet?

I've never been a fan of Christmas, and this year is defnitely no exception.

The only reason that there is a tree in my living room (and by tree I mean a 32 inch tall plastic tree-replication) is because my 7 year old wouldn't stop asking when we were getting a tree.

All Christmas really is, is a bunch of people spending craptons of money.

The "holiday spirit" is such a joke. Don't believe me? Go walk around a Wal Mart for half an hour and listen to people bitch and complain about shopping, the prices of things and of course, each other.

I'm just saying... New Years can't come fast enough.

Worst.Gift.Ever

2008-12-03T21:03:00.000-08:00

My friend Lorna (http://www.coconutnoodlemonkey.blogspot.com/) is running this cool contest for the best Worst Christmas Gift story. Post a comment on her blog with a link to your post about your story and enter the contest!

Here's my story...

When I was pregnant with my oldest, my ex and I had Christmas Morning at his parents house. His mother was not always my biggest fan, but at that particular time, we were getting along pretty well.

So there we are opening christmas presents, and one gets passed to me from his mother. I open it and out pops this fuzzy, knit PONCHO. A bright, BRIGHT, pink knitted fuzzy PONCHO.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't wear poncho's. I also, don't wear bright pink, or fuzzy ANYTHING. Let alone, a combination of all three.

Because I was pregnant, it made me look like a bright pink circus tent. It was not an attractive look. Not at all an attractive look, and I had to wear the damn thing ALL DAY LONG. Through numerous family photo's and lots and lots of "AWWW...you look PRECIOUS".

Precious? Nothing about me is "precious" (insert vomit noise here).

Anyways, that was my worst christmas gift ever...and it was in fact one of those gifts that just kept giving, because every holiday after that FOR THREE YEARS his Mom always asked me to wear it, because she thought it was so PRECIOUS.

Yuck.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-11-26T08:59:00.001-08:00

To all who found me by a Message in a bottle..

2008-11-24T16:49:00.001-08:00

I discovered a fun site today, www.oceangram.com where you read and send messages in a bottle from the virtual ocean. I sent out the link to my blog on an oceangram....and I'm curious to see if anyone actually see it!

So if you are reading this because you opened my bottle... then please leave me a comment and let me know how far my oceangram travelled!

Just another Manic Monday...

2008-11-24T09:33:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. Not a very original title for this post. But come on people, its freakin Monday and my brain is still on Saturday afternoon.

Today I'm going to clean my house. Not that my house is dirty, just that I need to do things like mop the kitchen floor, and bleach my whites. I'll probably vacuum and sweep the balcony too. Stuff like that.

I also need to finish my laundry that I didn't finish last night. You would think that my lack of sleep lately would have given me more time to keep up with my laundry..no not so much.

On a completely unrelated note, I discovered something awesome last night.

www.bookmooch.com It's cool, you list all the books you have that you don't want anymore, and are willing to send off to someone who wants it...and then you can browse all the books that other people have and get the books FOR FREE! I'm all about free books!

OH, and Lorna if you are reading this...you didn't respond to my text last night, but I found a crapton of books on there that need to go and live with you, so IM/text/call me today!

Fabulous Friday

2008-11-21T08:03:00.000-08:00

Friday is fabulous today, because it's another day.

I'm loved, and I love. I have a amazing children, and good people around me. I have a nice place to live and not alot of real problems.

So friday is fabulous, just because its friday.

Thought of the Day Thursday

2008-11-20T08:56:00.000-08:00

It's Thought of the day Thursday.

Have you ever thought about why people collect things?

My soon-to-be Mother in Law collects Lighthouses, my grandmother collects a certain pattern of dishes, I have friends that collect dolls, and friends that collect cutesy figurines.

I just don't really understand collecting things.

I mean, I guess I don't really understand the need for "stuff". I'm one of those people that doesn't buy extra things. I buy the things that we need, and thats it. There is so much more in life that is important, I don't see the point in spending time focused on THINGS.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-11-19T07:23:00.000-08:00

Tired and Rambling.

2008-11-18T15:36:00.000-08:00

I'm tired.

For those of you who know me, you know why... the rest of you I'll give you the footnotes. Gf is out of town, and I don't sleep well without her, well actually, I don't sleep at all. AT FREAKIN ALL.

I'm tired. I'm so tired that I'm seeing double and hearing things.

Have you ever been so tired that things that aren't funny are suddenly hilarious, and the things that aren't really sad reduce you to a sobbing pile of over-emotional girl goo. Five almost six days with basically no sleep at all. That's not good. Logically I know, I have to sleep. I need to sleep...but my body won't cooperate.

I've spent most of today in bed watching cartoons with my two year old, and now Hannah Montana and Drake n Josh with my 7 year old. I've noticed all kinds of things about these shows that I'm pretty sure aren't really there. I never realized all the less than wholesome undertones that they throw into these shows.

Have you ever realized that Spongebob is dirty? It's a SPONGE, LIVING IN A BIKINI BOTTOM WITH A SQUID, CRABS AND A BEAVER. Ok, maybe Sandy is a squirrel but it looks like a beaver to me.

And there is something very very wrong with Icarly. I'm just saying.

Like I said, I'm really tired. Very tired. So incredibly tired. TIRED.

Monday. Blech.

2008-11-17T07:40:00.000-08:00

It's Monday.

What is it about the word Monday that just makes you want to throw up a lil? Not that my weekend was so exciting that I'm sad it's over...I didn't do anything special. Every day that goes by makes me happy, so you would think that it being Monday wouldn't be a problem...but it is I guess.

I just want it to be Friday again.

Oh, and I'm out of coffee. That doesn't help.

Who's having a boy?

2008-11-16T11:30:00.000-08:00

I know that there are enough preggo's in my extended 'net family...who's having a boy? I started knitting the other night and I've got a quarter of a blue baby blanket so far.

Who wants it?

Breathe In, Breathe Out

2008-11-15T09:02:00.000-08:00

I have a good life. I have an amazing girlfriend who is the foundation that my entire life sits on. I have beautiful children, who make my life worth living every day.

Hard times are just that, hard. Not impossible, not fatal. Just hard. When times get hard, when the darkness comes to the point where you aren't sure that you can see past it, all you can do is breathe.

Breathe in, Breath out.

(but breathe slowly, because if you breathe too fast you'll hyperventilate)

Fabulous Friday

2008-11-07T06:52:00.001-08:00

I know today is supposed to be fabulous friday...but it doesn't feel fabulous.

I think I'm getting sick, and my kid goes to her Dad's today. I hate that. I mean, I know that its best for Lily to have a good relationship with him, but I hate dealing with convincing her that she has to go. I'm tired of seeing my child used as a weapon against me, I just don't understand how grownups can be so blind to see the effect of the things that they say and do on the kids.

Maybe it's because I went through this with my parents when I was younger, maybe that makes me more aware of what I say and do in front of her that has to do with her Dad. I remember how much it sucks to be pumped for information about the other parent, and not understanding why everyone seems to hate each other so much, but no one will tell you why.

I remember how hard it is to decide what it's ok to share at one parents house, and what is it. Not talking about having fun because you don't want to get in trouble, or hurt that parents feelings.

I just wish that they could get that the whole point of this is to be good parents to her, not to hate each other, and the more time they waste hating me, the more time they lose with her...because someday she will be old enough to choose. She's a smart kid and she will see them for what this is eventually... and teenagers are not forgiving creatures.

ANYWAYS, on to Fabulous Friday.

Today is Fabulous because....

ummm....

hmmm.

Oh! Ok, I know. Friday is Fabulous because.... I'll get a new netflix movie in the mail today!